I was in a team of 4 and was not familiar with anyone on the team. Tom stood out as a very outspoken individual in the team, and in our first meeting, he suggested using the Pelican wiki as the platform to collaborate on project documents. We agreed to follow his suggestion. However, after trying to use Pelican, I found it to be very unfriendly to use.
In the next meeting, after deciding on the project topic, I raised my opinion of using NUS wiki instead of Pelican, because NUS wiki was more user-friendly and work can be done more efficiently. Tom however strongly insisted on using Pelican, and I strongly opposed his decision. An interpersonal conflict thus resulted.
Causes of conflict:
1. 2 strong personalities in the same team; Tom's strong insistence on doing things the way he wants; my not giving way because I was not convinced and I was given a chance to do so by the rest of the team.
Perhaps, Tom was uncomfortable with using NUS wiki because it was new to him. However, he could have been insisting just for the sake of doing so.
2. Passive team members Dick and Harry did not take sides on this issue.
After talking to them outside of the meeting, I found that they did not like the idea of using Pelican either, but did not voice their opinions because they did not wish to create conflict with Tom.
Possible solution:
I might try rallying Dick and Harry to form a majority insisting on using NUS wiki. If he still refuses to play nice, I will use words to make him feel bad about himself, and hopefully weaken his resolve.
Question:
What do you think is a good way to deal with such a Tom when his opinion makes no sense and Dick and Harry are not helping?
Hello!
ReplyDeleteI think since Tom (presumably) is the team leader for this project, he should be responsible for the success/failure of it. I think you did a right thing to voice out your opinion and suggestions to increase the efficiency of doing work, but in this case Tom had ignored it and I feel that you should go with him to avoid any conflicts. Probably, when its your turn to be the project leader, you can explain and convince him that NUS wiki is better.
I foresee that he might be stubborn and still insist on going his way. Then in this case I guess getting the support of Dick and Harry might be a good idea.
In my opinion, perhaps you should sit Tom down separately (that is without the other group members), and let him know Dick and Harry's objection to using Pelican wiki. The tone used with him should be firm, but polite. In this way, Tom will not 'lose face' in front of the other 2 group members.
ReplyDeleteIf sitting down with Tom in person is an awkward option, the 'blow' can be soften with the use of multimedia platforms i.e. MSN messenger or even cellular text messages. The important thing here is to not hurt Tom's pride as everyone is only just getting to know each other- it is true that first impressions count, but we must also learn to be forgiving and look past the first impression to uncover what's beneath. Who knows, Tom could be a very brilliant team mate to work with despite his alpha male demeanor.
Cheers!
Hi Desmond,
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting conflict that could happen to anyone of us including me.
Dick and Harry may have their own reasons in doing so such as not wanting to be perceived as choosing sides and thus hurting Tom's feelings in the process. However, I agree that rallying their support could help soften Tom's resolve.
Using forceful and harsh words however, is not the right approach as this will create further tension. If Tom is still insistent despite Dick and Harry's involvement, I would suggest bringing up the matter to the tutor and have an open discussion instead.
Hi Desmond,
ReplyDeleteI believe if the majority of the group prefer NUS wiki, Tom should be more accommodating and try to use NUS wiki. Perhaps like you mention he is new to the system. Maybe the three of you can sit down and show him the advantages of using NUS wiki and that NUS wiki may not be so hard to use after all.
I think that the use of strong words might result in adverse result as he might take it personally. So like Doris mentioned, it is better to use a firm but polite tone such that he will receive your words better.
Haha... strong words for a strongman. :)
ReplyDelete